It’s June. That optimistic time of year when graduates and young couples joyfully pronounce they “can’t wait to see what the future holds.”
That’s sweet. No really, it’s a very sweet declaration. And we all act like it’s some kind of big mystery what’s coming next. But it’s not. Let me help you out.
The following is based on the experience of me and my friends. Results are extremely typical.
High School Grads, here’s your future:
- 20 pounds
- $350 for a textbook that you cannot resell
- lots of ramen noodles
- learning to sleep at super odd hours
College Grads, here’s your future:
- low wages
- bad break room coffee
- irresponsible roommates
- questionable living quarters
- an encyclopedic knowledge of every happy hour and discount food night at every high-end bar in town
Married Couples, here’s your future:
- What do you want for supper?
- What do we have?
- I don’t know. You went to the grocery store.
- I don’t know. I bought food. We have food. I’ll eat anything you cook.
- I cook whatever you want. Just don’t make me make another decision today.
- Oh hey, did you fill out those forms for the kid to do the thing?
- Yes. And you’re changing the subject. Supper? What do you want?
- Wanna just order takeout. Whatever. And you’re doing pickup and drop off tomorrow because I have that thing after work.
- Fine. Don’t forget to take out the trash. It’s recycle week.