Things that Need to Stop

07e0ed36f0f39e0276e7fd0cf2d115f3Last night I was hanging out with some great friends I haven’t seen in awhile. At the bar, the conversation went something like this.

Me: I’m sorry, could I get bourbon and ginger ale?
Bartender: Sure.
Me: And I’m sorry, do you have a food menu? I need a little something to eat.
Bartender: *gives me menu*
Me: I’d like the humus. But, I’m sorry, instead of pita bread, could I get vegetables?
Friend: Would you please stop apologizing for asking someone to do his job?
Me: Crap. I’m doing it again. I have to stop that. I’m sorry.

I suffer from over apologizing. I think it’s pretty mainstream, but seems to affect Southerners and Canadians in particularly profound ways.

Another friend mentioned she was going to write a post about all the things we should stop apologizing for. I said I was going to write a post about things that need to stop. #1 on the list: over apologizing.

Things that Need to Stop

  1. Over apologizing – When you run into me, I’m going to stop saying I’m sorry. I’m also going to stop saying I’m sorry to waiters for ordering food.
  2. “Mompreneur” –  This is not a word. If a person starts a business, it doesn’t matter if said person is a parent. More to the point, it’s insulting. We don’t call them “Dadpreneurs.” Because that would sound stupid!
  3. Absurd guilt – My hand to God, I regularly see social media posts where women are using gift certificates to get pedicures or massages, often given to them for Mother’s Day, and confessing feelings of guilt for not being with their children. Seriously. There is no reason for this guilt.
  4. “I don’t have time to…” – We all get the same amount of time. You, me, Beyonce, all of us. Decide how you’re going to use yours. You don’t have to make excuses or apologies for it. You also don’t have to make pronouncements about it. Stop telling all of us about the things you don’t have time to do, or claiming anyone who uses time to do it needs more to do, or is somehow unfulfilled.
  5. “Kids today” – They’re soft. They’re coddled. They’re always on their phones. Do you not remember how hard it was to be a tween/teen? The world is a hard, cruel, lonely place. Couldn’t it use some more kindness? Some more gentleness? Some more connection? Leave them be. They’re just trying to figure it out.

There are more. There are always more. But that’s what I’ve got for today. Sorry, not sorry.

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