There seem to be a lot of lists lately on things you should never say. I’m not talking about George Carlin’s Seven Words You Can’t Say on TV, which totally holds up as comedy and social commentary more than 30 years later.
I’m talking about various groups of people who have specific things they would like you stop saying to them. You know what I’m talking about, right? Things you should never say to: single parents, stay-at-home parents, cancer patients, pregnant women, teachers, even photographers.
To be fair, some of these lists are pretty funny. Others are trying to keep you from incredibly awkward social situations, like this video: If Black People Said What White People Say.
And I get the intent. People can be pretty insensitive. They don’t think before they speak. They say aggressively inappropriate stuff.
But come on, y’all. Enough already.
So I’ve decided to make my own list. It’s exhaustive. It’s thorough. It’s everything you need to know about what you should and shouldn’t say to other people in polite conversation. Ready?
Kerri’s Complete, Thorough, Exhaustive List of Things You Should Never Say
- Don’t be a jackass.
- When in doubt, see Rule #1.
Alright. That’ll do it. If you never read another list for the rest of your life, this one will cover it. You have my money back guarantee on that.