It’s not a resolution

Little Rock Marathon - March 2009

Little Rock Marathon – March 2009

My name is Kerri. I hate eating right and working out. I hate thinking about it. I hate doing it. I hate writing about it. Hate with the fire of a thousand suns. Hate like Coke and Pepsi wars. Hate like Biggie and Tupac.

If you saw my scale this morning, it confirmed my hatred of all things good and healthy. I’ve enjoyed the holiday season.

In 2009, I ran on a relay team in the Little Rock Marathon. My leg of the race was approximately a 10k. Every year since, I’ve some kind of reason excuse why I didn’t run. I’ve worked out and had some successes along the way, but no sustained exercise plan in the past five years.

I’m sitting here looking at the number: Five (5) YEARS. Where did that much time go? I want this year to be the year I get on a plan and stay on it. It’s easy to want that in January. Everyone wants that at the first of the year when the scale is straight up laughing. The trick is to still want it in July.

There are two hard truths I have to move from the logical part of my brain to the willpower part of my brain:

1. This is never going to be easy. I am always going to hate working out. It’s the results I love, not the process.

2. There is no later. There is no tomorrow. There is no waiting for something to happen. There is only today. If I don’t work out today, then I let another day go by without exercising. And that’s only on me. No one else.

It’s no secret to me what I need to do. I know what works. I have to eat lean protein, fruits and vegetables. I have to drink a lot more water and fewer Diet Cokes. I have to cut way back on the wine and desserts. I have to work out or run at least four days a week.

What I want to do is eat cheese and carbs (bread, wine, sugar). I want to take naps instead of jogging.

It pains me to do it, because I think he’s a windbag, but I must quote Dr. Phil: “People do what works. Until the need to change outweighs the need to stay the same, people will keep doing what they’ve always done.”

My need to change has never weighed more. No really, I’ve never weighed this much. The only way I ever finish anything is a deadline. So I’ve created two for the first half of the year.

Last summer, I signed up for the Little Rock Half Marathon. It’s March 2. Yes, that’s 60 days away. I’ve been training in fits and starts, which is to say, not consistently at all. It’s time to stop playing around. A friend has offered to run with me to keep me accountable before the race. I’m looking forward to it…sorta.

To keep me going after the half-marathon, I have my 20-year reunion in June. There is nothing like the fear of looking bad in front of high school friend to keep me on track. Potential humiliation is a strong motivator for me.

I’ll probably need to schedule something for early fall to keep me going. It’s the only way for me to sustain momentum.

I’m not calling it this training a New Year’s resolution because those are too easy for me to blow off. Also, this really can’t be a short-term goal.

Will 2014 be the year I make the kind of health changes in my life that I need to? I don’t know. It’s too big for me to think about it like that.

I’m going to approach it like a recovery group: one day at a time. I only have to eat right and exercise today. For this day, that’s all I have to do. I’ll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

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2 thoughts on “It’s not a resolution

  1. I look forward to reading about your progress. I also have a looming deadline — my 30th birthday. I struggled with rapid weight gain after college and don’t want to carry that into my next decade (literally). Best of luck to you!

  2. Pingback: Endings and Beginnings | Drink, Sleep & Be Kerri

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