By now, you’ve probably seen the latest Coke ad. It’s been shared on virtually every social media outlet. So good work, Coke’s ad agency.
It’s really lovely. I actually cried the first time I saw it. Then I felt like a moron for crying over a television commercial. The Bee Gees get to me.
I didn’t cry for the same reasons most of my friends did. I got teary because it hurt. It hurt like a canker sore you forget about and bite down on without thinking.
When we got married, I thought I would be the mother of many children. But pregnancy didn’t work out for me. Adoption was difficult. We got through the whole process mostly unscathed, and now we have a fantastic child. He’s killing me with the whole being seven thing. But he’s fantastic.
The cold reality is that we’re not going to have more children. We’ve talked about it. A lot. There are a variety of reasons. What it all boils down to is that I’m not the mother of many children. I’m the mother of this one child. That’s the way it is.
Here’s the thing: I really like this life I have with my family. It’s beyond good. It might not be what I thought it was going to be, but it’s pretty freaking great. I don’t actually want it to change.
It’s just that there is this little piece of me that’s sad. I’ve come to realize it’s always going to be that way.
It’s that fraction of my heart that causes me irrational guilt. I worry my son is missing out on something because he doesn’t have a sibling. But then I’ll talk to the woman who’s been my best friend since birth. I remember you don’t have to share parents to be family.
Coke has done absolutely nothing wrong. But along with my irrational guilt comes absurd anger. I want to shout at the ad, “It’s not fair to pick that scab right now. This time of year is hard enough. I don’t need any help to make it harder.”
But that would be the sign of a crazy person…which of course I am not.