Please excuse my son’s tardiness today

after soccer practice

after soccer practice

Dear Jackson’s Teacher,

Please excuse Jackson’s tardiness this morning.

You see, the morning really started last night. Jackson had soccer practice, so we didn’t get his homework done. We planned to do the math worksheet this morning.

I put the worksheet on the table beside him while he ate. He was supposed to do it as soon as he finished breakfast. He didn’t. So when it was time to leave, the paper was still on the table untouched. I was mad, but we had to get it done.

So we muscled through the worksheet, and ran out the door. Well, after I told him four times to pick up his backpack, we were out the door.

He would have just been 15 minutes late to school at that point. But as I was watching him walk into the building, I noticed he had something on the seat of his shorts. It was pink. He looked like he just started his period. I couldn’t let him get to the classroom like that. He’d be ridiculed all day long.

So I parked the car illegally and ran in after him, trying to intercept him before he got to the classroom. But as you know, we have new security measures at the school this year, which I totally support, but now I have to run into the office to get them to buzz me past the doors.

I wasn’t making much sense because I was totally frantic. I was also wearing sweat pants, a t-shirt and my glasses with flip flops, “You have to open the doors! He can’t go to class! It’s pink!!”

Now the ladies in the office are always answering what appear to 250 phones. There were other parents, who were there before me. But I couldn’t wait my turn. MY KID HAD SOMETHING PINK ON THE BACK OF HIS SHORTS! Do you have any idea the kind of nicknames he could get from this?!? This is the kind of thing that could stick for years!

They were a bit confused by my behavior, “Whaaat?” And every second I was standing there, he was getting closer and closer to utter humiliation. And I tried to make sense, but it didn’t get better, “Must stop him! Terrible pants! OPEN.THE.DOOR!”

They just buzzed me through because clearly I was mental at that point. I’m ran through the halls…in flip flops… so that was charming. And right as he was opening his classroom door, I grabbed him and pulled him back. That’s when you noticed me with the wild eyes and the unbrushed teeth. “Is Jackson ok?” I’m not sure what I said, but I remember saying he’d be right back.

I’m rushed him out to the car. We sped home and changed shorts. I’m all, “Did you sit in something this morning?”

He looked a little confused, then a lightbulb goes off in his head: “Oh! I accidentally spilled yogurt in my chair.”

Then I was confused, “And then you sat in it?!?” Because surely the child didn’t KNOW he had pink yogurt on his shorts and just not do anything about it. He just looked at me like I’m simple, “Yes.”

“Child, if you get something on your shorts before we even leave the house, you have to change them! And why are you sitting on yogurt? Clean it up before you sit down.”

Again with the lightbulb, “Oh, I could that.” I showed him the backside of the shorts and what was there. He seemed to finally grasp what was happening. “That’s no good.”

He put on clean shorts, and we dashed back to school, which is why he was 30 minutes late.

For what’s it’s worth, I’m told he’s advanced in many areas. This just doesn’t happen to be one of them. We’re really going to try harder to make tomorrow a better start.



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