We got all the first grade forms in the mail. I can no longer delude myself. This is real school. There were words like “homework” and “assignment notebook.” But the most vicious part of all: first grade begins at 7:50 a.m.
Bless us. We live four blocks from the school. And somehow those are the geographically the longest four blocks on the planet. I do not know how we are going to cross them 10 minutes faster than we did all of last year. I just.don’t.know.
It was probably just bad timing that I got these papers the day I went school supply shopping. I was supposed to buy 8 glue sticks. You know what package size glue sticks come in? You guessed it: 6 and 12.
Every single item on the list was like that. Please send 36 pencils. There are packages of 24, 8 or 32, but nothing that adds up cleanly to 36. We’re making “donations” to the class fund. I just bought extra of everything. No harm there.
But seriously?!?! I was a journalism major. I just want to buy pretty folders. I was told there would be no math.
Please remember my enthusiasm about the glory of school supplies is not exactly matched by my son. He was actually rolling around in the aisles of Target repeating, “Are we done yet?” I finally bribed him with Star Wars legos and a t-shirt to get out of the filthy floor already, knock it off and HELP ME, so we could leave, for Pete’s sake.
Oh dear beautiful people at the Anthony School, I love you so much. I’m so grateful that you are educating my quirky little boy. I adore that you see him like we do: funny and smart and slightly off-beat.
Mostly, I love you because starting Monday, for the better part of nine months, YOU can listen to his 438 questions all.day.long. Why? How does that work? Who would win in a fight: a clone trooper or a storm trooper? We have dining room?!?
But if you could just let me have a crack at that school supply list, I promise, I can make this SO much more efficient.