This weekend I was a speaker at WordCamp Fayetteville. I told the fine folks at the conference what I’ve learned over the past seven years (some of it the very hard way) about blogging and content strategy and how that makes sense both personally and for your business.
I’ve been excited about going to this. I asked to do it. I wanted to it.
Until we can receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.
Unfortunately, lately my anxiety has not been well controlled. I’m working with my docs and doing what I need to get myself back together, but things could be better.
Friday night, I started to feel the hamster wheel cranking up inside me. I realize this might seem like just nerves, which would be totally normal, but I know from experience this was the beginning of a freak out.
Here’s the thing about going to Fayetteville, Charlie can’t just pop over and get me if I lose my business. I was riding with a dear friend. He was also a speaker. If he was in the middle of his presentation, he can’t be worried about me.
So I put my sweet friend Stephanie on standby. My text went something like: If I totally lose it tomorrow, will you come get me and walk me around until I settle down so I don’t have to cry alone in a bathroom stall?
Without a single moment’s hesitation, she replied, “Of course.”
This may not seem like a monumental thing. But it was. Immediately, everything slowed down. There was a plan. No matter what happened, I would be ok.
It’s hard to explain sometimes, but I am not a person who asks for or accepts help easily. If you need something, sister, I am there with a mop bucket, two casseroles, a bottle of wine and spool of twine. It just seems like twine is the kind of thing you need if something is going wrong.
But when it comes to me or my issues I tell everyone else, “I’m fine. You don’t need to do that. We’ve got it covered. No worries here.” But sometimes, I’m not fine. I need help. And I have to learn to both ask for it and take it.
I’m learning how to be better at asking for help. It’s weird that it took me this long in life to figure out something so obvious, but the help, helps.
My presentation seemed to go well. People asked good questions, which I usually take as a positive sign. Also, no one hit me with rotten produce. Although, I talk so much with my hands, they may have thought better of trying to aim at a flailing muppet.
I didn’t have to call Stephanie. But knowing that I could kept me calm and together. I couldn’t have asked for better company on the ride up and back. If you get the chance to share a car ride with Patrick Houston, I highly recommend it. He’s good people.
Once again, I got by with a little help from my friends…