Secrets

shhhLies and secrets, Tessa, they are like a cancer in the soul. They eat away what is good and leave only destruction behind.
~Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

There are people who trade in secrets. It’s a currency to them. They lord their special information over others. “I know something you don’t know.”

When I was younger, I couldn’t stand it. I had to know. I had to know it all. I had a pathological need to consume more information. Because if I just knew enough, then this life would make sense.

Secrets are generally terrible. Beauty is not hidden–only ugliness and deformity.
~L.M. Montgomery

At the ripe old age of 37, here’s what I know for sure:

  • There is no amount of information that will ever make the world make sense.
  • People who use secrecy to shame others are the most selfish form of life.
  • Secrets and shame need dark ugly places in our souls to hide.
  • Light and air are the only cures for the cancer of secrets.

I feel the need here to distinguish between privacy and secrets. Privacy involves healthy boundaries for information sharing and respecting appropriate social norms and other’s feelings. Secrets are information that rightly belongs to other people that’s being withheld for the purpose of manipulation.

The story of my family. . .changes with the teller. 
~Jennifer Haigh, Faith

I no longer want to know everything. I wish I could unknow a lot of what I’ve learned. I hope that mine is the generation who learns to tell the truth, to stop burdening one another with secrets.

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